Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I want to be your penis for a week.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize