evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
