I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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