the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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