You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
