ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
