This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
