I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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