Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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