yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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