How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
