Already got asked if we're dating
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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