Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
