Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
