i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
