Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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