Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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