we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
What a dumb baby whore.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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