It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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