foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
