He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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