Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
