it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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