Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
