A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
