yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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