small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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