I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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