haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
