so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
