there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
