he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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