Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Randomize
