I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
