no. you can't hotbox the world.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
