The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she told me i tasted like america
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
