I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
