if i can run in heels then i can drive
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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