What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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