I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize