It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
