The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
