walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
