I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
