Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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