I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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