If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
