it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
