her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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