Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
