She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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