Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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