If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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