You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
