It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
