wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
