I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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