Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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