I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
